Waves of memories
by Chocoholic24
Summary: One shot, post season 4. Tony reflects on the months after season 3, then starts to move on...


**_I know I'm still in the middle of writing Release, but this idea came to me and I thought I'd put it up to see what you thought. Please review, it would be much appreciated!

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You sit on the cold pebbles, staring at the waves powering towards you. For a moment, they look like they might not break, and instead might continue up the beach, swallowing you in the process. But they don't, as they never have, and instead continue to follow the pattern of nature and science, and crash down on the rocks. The power is instantly gone, and is replaced with slow moving water, which trickles across the stones, and is then replaced by another wave, bringing more water. And another.

The spray is carried through the wind onto your face, but you don't move. The wind ruffles through your hair, and tears at the warmth of your body, dragging it away. You shiver, but still don't move, needing this time to look back, and to release the memories that have haunted you for so long.

You've been coming to the beach for many months. It's the one part of your world that can't be taken away from you. It has never been a happy place, rather a sanctuary; a place of peace where you can sit alone, undisturbed, thinking. Peace is something that you have craved, yet never found, for over a year.

Onlookers, people who didn't know any better, would say that a prison cell should have been undisturbed and solitary enough. But it wasn't, because you always had memories, worries, and conflicting thoughts in your head. How could things have ended differently? What else could have been done? The unanswered questions bounced of the cell walls over and over again every night, resounding in your head. And these thoughts had kept you from sleep, and from peace.

Then the release from prison, and with it, a whole world of new problems. Months of frustration and anger left you cold inside, and unwilling to solve these new problems. So the questions stayed in your head, refusing to keep quiet, and the rift between your old and new character slowly grew. And as you changed, so did your marriage. The alcohol helped you to find solitude, helped to block out unwanted thoughts, memories, and real life. But you still failed to find peace.

When she left, for an instant there was calm. Then the storm came crashing down around you, leaving you stranded and alone. The questions increased, bringing more and more doubt and anger into your life. You tried to lie to yourself, to believe that you didn't need her, that life would be easier now she was gone and wasn't there to remind you of a life that was long gone. But it didn't work, and in your heart you knew that it wasn't true. She wasn't the one reminding you of your old life. But she was the only one that could lead you to a new life.

So for months, you sat here, on this very spot, staring at the endless waves. Some days they would be closer, and some days they would be larger. But they were always here, for you to stare at, and push the memories away. The memories never disappeared, never allowed you to find peace, but this place gave you solitude, and a chance to hush the unwanted thoughts.

But now they've gone. Now, after months of sitting here, you can watch the waves and silence fills your head. Because you're not alone. The beach is no longer a place for solitude and remembrance, but a place you can share, with the woman that you love.

You look down at the curly head resting on your shoulder, belonging to the one woman who can help you to find peace. You smile, knowing that this is all you ever need. Because she loves you. And you love her. That's all it takes.

You no longer need to watch the waves, or the sky, or the stones. And you no longer need to sit here alone, in silence, deep in thought. Because she is with you, and you can watch her, and talk to her.

Suddenly, the wind doesn't seem so cold. The stones don't seem so uncomfortable. The sky doesn't seem so empty and bleak.

You stand, arm wrapped tightly around her body, and begin to walk back along the path, leaving the beach behind. You won't return again. You no longer need it.

You finally know how to make the memories disappear. How to sleep at night without waking terrified and feeling desolately alone.

You've remembered what it is to wake in the morning and feel as if there is a point to your life. You've remembered how to feel warm, how to smile, how to laugh. You've remembered how to live.

And all it took was one woman.

Michelle.


End file.
